


I'll Be Your Strength

by bastiankurts (orphan_account)



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-18
Updated: 2013-10-18
Packaged: 2017-12-29 18:54:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1008854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/bastiankurts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On one particularly difficult day of the year for Kurt, Sebastian is there for him. And in return, Kurt reminds Sebastian that he's there for him, too. </p><p>(Small drabble written for the upcoming Halloween season, with a slight supernatural edge. Includes brief werewolf!Sebastian).</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll Be Your Strength

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on tumblr as a supernatural/halloween themed 'drabble' (well, that was _before_ it became 4k in word count, so I'm not sure calling it a drabble actually counts anymore). Due to the slight length of this work, I've decided to archive it here as it's own standalone work also.

It was difficult to imagine that six years had passed already. 

Six years since the fateful day that shook the remaining members of the Hummel family to their very core. Six years where that small, loving family had been ripped apart at the seams, changed forever in a way that could never truly be repaired nor fixed.

Kurt had only been a young boy back then. A mere twelve years old, an age where a child was still much too young to understand the full implications of the tragedy that had befallen, as well as the impact that it would more than likely have on the rest of his future.

But even so, he  _had_  understood enough to know that his mother would never be able to return to him. That he would never be able to see her smiling face outside of the family photographs that they kept again.

Six years. A timeframe that passed as the years went by and saw Kurt ageing, slowly shaping into the image of the young man that he would grow to become as an adult. As he grew older, Kurt’s understanding of the world only continued to shift and change with him. No longer did things always appear as bright, colourful and optimistic as one would imagine them being whilst remaining a young, innocent child, but instead most of everyday the reality he faced blurred and blended together: forming instead a confusing grey tone. The greyness was always harder to pick apart and figure out than colours ever were.

He supposed it had been that one accident involving his mother that had triggered the dominos to fall, as if it were the first hard truth in a long line that followed which the world was somehow preparing him to learn and face. 

Still, even as the years passed and more obstacles came and left, Kurt’s life always continued to move forward. He still missed the presence of his mother everyday, missed her warmth and her nurturing nature and how she would know exactly what to say in certain situations that his father struggled with slightly, yet Kurt knew that there was nothing he could do to bring her back. It was a difficult truth to have to accept at first – for both Kurt and his father – but eventually, Kurt discovered that there was still something that he could do to remember and honour the memory of the woman who had once been a centre part of his life. Something that eventually became a tradition of sorts that he continued to carry on in the years that followed.

Every year, on the morning of October 24th -- the date that still never failed to fill him with the echo feeling of dread in the very pit of his stomach when he awoke – ever since he was fourteen, Kurt finds himself repeating the same pattern. His father knows and understands that it’s something that Kurt has decided he wants to spend the time doing by himself, and so allows him the privacy to do so. Even Carole and Finn, who had brought with them a new meaning of the word 'family' to Kurt in the past two years since his father remarried, understand the significance of the day and what it is that it marks, and give Kurt the space of the few hours that he requires.

The drive to the cemetery is always both long in Kurt's mind and yet ends too quickly, and eventually, Kurt always finds himself pulling out of the thoughts that he's been lost in on the way, and finding himself at the same destination, the same place he always ends up at. He’s standing before a tombstone marked for his late mother, a small selection of her favourite flowers brought from the flouriest earlier on in the journey held tightly in one hand as he stands and watches, just taking a long moment to remember the memories he had of when she had been alive and walking the earth. 

Soon after, Kurt finally moves to crouch down onto the ground, setting the flowers before her tombstone and making sure that they’re positioned properly, in a way that he knows his mother would approve of. At some point Kurt eventually finds himself talking, sharing the first thought that comes to his mind of what he wanted to share with the woman, taking the time to catch her up on the past year since his last visit and updating her on some of the things that she’s missed by no longer being a part of their world, and that Kurt knows his mother would like to hear and would put that warm smile he remembers her wearing on her face if she had still been alive.

The only difference from his current visit this time to those of which Kurt’s made before now is that some time partway through talking to his mother, Kurt senses that he’s not actually alone. It’s a strange feeling, almost like a tingling sensation creeping slowly up his back that makes him feel like he's been watched. At first Kurt continues to speak, wondering at the back of his mind who it could be as he passes through the possibilities. There aren't many people that come to mind however, as Kurt makes sure to always keep the days in which he visits his mothers grave free from plans with others, wanting to keep the time personal and intimate, only between him and the woman he only has memories of, and later on as the day progresses with the rest of his small family. In the years that had passed before none of his friends have thought to seek him out and disturb him, and his family knows better than to intrude on his visits.

It's then, as he scans his thoughts quickly, that Kurt realises that there’s really only  _one_  person who could be the one that’s lurking nearby.

As soon as he comes to the realisation Kurt eventually stops speaking, his words drifting off after he’s finished saying what it was he had been in the middle of when his senses had first alerted him to the visitor. When he does, Kurt doesn’t move to get up from the position of where he’s sat in front of the tombstone. In fact he doesn't move much at all, instead choosing to turn his head ever so slightly in the direction of where he knows that the visitor is, noticing the familiar shade of brown that was attempting to hide behind another tombstone a little way away.

“You can stop hiding now, Sebastian. I already know that you’re there.”

There’s a pause after Kurt speaks, in which he continues to watch the spot from before. After a while however Sebastian finally emerges, the familiar shape of his wolf form no longer hiding at the tombstone he had lurking behind.

The lucky thing with Sebastian’s form is that if anyone else were around or saw them, he probably would appear as nothing more than a stray dog in the cemetery, or perhaps people might mistake him as a pet Kurt owns. His fur is slightly longer than the last time Kurt had seen the other in his animal form, obviously due to the new winter coat that had grown out since that time. It’s still just as rich in it’s colour however. It’s tone of brown is reminiscent to that of Sebastian’s head of hair when he’s in his human form, if only a shade or two darker, and Kurt notices it easily now that he's used to seeing Sebastian like this.

Slowly he makes his way towards Kurt, his movements almost graceful as he drew closer towards him. He eventually reaches Kurt, stopping by where it is that he’s still seated on the ground. Sebastian lightly nudges at Kurt’s hand with his nose, and Kurt knows Sebastian well enough by know what it means, the silent way that he’s asking ‘ _how’re you holding up?’_ In response Kurt offers him a small smile, moving the same hand up to rub behind the wolf's ear.

“I should have guessed that you would have known where I’d be today, shouldn’t I?” Kurt asks, watching how Sebastian seemed to move slightly into the movement of his hand. He continues to stroke the same spot for a long moment, watching how Sebastian reacts to him before eventually Kurt lets out a small sigh and continues to speak. “Please tell me you brought some clothes with you so you can shift back at some point? As much as I love this version of you and how it keeps you quiet, I do enjoy hearing you speak at times too.” 

The words although seemingly jokingly are laced with hidden meaning behind them, and Kurt knows that Sebastian understands what it is that he’s really trying to say.  _‘I need you’._ Sebastian in return lets out a small sound that can only be heard by how close Kurt is next to him as his response, moving from where Kurt’s still petting him to lick at his hand, before stepping away so that he can disappear back behind the tombstone he had been lurking behind before once more. Kurt watches, moving to stand, wondering for a moment where Sebastian's going before he realises. 

Sebastian shifts, ducking down behind the tombstone still when he's finished to pull the clothes that he had brought with him out of the bag that he had placed hidden out of Kurt's view, before quickly changing into them. When he’s done Sebastian moves to pick up the small bag from where it sat behind the stone and makes his way back over to Kurt once more, noticing the confused expression that he's wearing now and giving him a small smile in return.

“I wasn’t actually expecting you to figure out I was watching you. But then I remembered that you have this way of picking up on things really easily, so I packed this –“ Sebastian raises the small bag up then from where he was carrying it over his shoulder, as if showing what it was he was referring to. “Just incase. Good job too, it seems.”

Kurt gives a small, sad smile in return, before his brow furrows back into slight confusion once again. 

“How did you know that I would be here?” He asks. Sebastian tilts his head to one side at the question.

“You’ve been acting off for the past few days,” Sebastian replies after a moment. “At first I couldn’t work out why, but then I remembered the little that you told me about your mother, and when I put two and two together and looked at the date on the calendar…” He drifts off for a second, biting at his bottom lip as if slightly anxious before continuing. “I got that you probably wanted to be by yourself, but I just – I wanted to make sure I was right. And that most importantly, ... you were doing okay. So I err –“ Another pause, and Sebastian casts his eyes away from Kurt’s at the same time that he reaches up to rub behind his neck, letting out a small huff of a laugh as he speaks again. “I followed your scent. I promise, I wasn’t doing it to try and be creepy or anything, and if I was right I was planning to leave before you even realised I was there but ... well. That part didn’t really end up happening.”

“Why, Smythe,” Kurt began, attempting to turn his lips up further into the usual smile they held whenever he teased Sebastian. The smile failed to reach that far though, yet Kurt continued on all the same, touched somewhat by the others honesty and his actions. “It’s almost like you were worried about me.”

Sebastian turns to look back at Kurt once again, his eyes wide for a second before narrowing just slightly.

“Of course I was.” He says, as if it’s the simplest and most obvious thing in the world. 

Kurt doesn’t know exactly what to say in response to that at first, but Sebastian's words do prove to bring a little bit of light to his smile. Sebastian notices, and he can't help but smile himself, although his attention darts after a while of watching Kurt to instead nod his head towards the direction of where his mother's tombstone sat. 

"This is your mother then?" Sebastian asks, reading the name that was staring right back at him. From beside him Kurt nods, and Sebastian lets in a deep breath. He continues to look at the tombstone for a few moments longer, his eyes tracing the words and the letters that were carved into the stone, until suddenly he breaks away from his thoughts and shakes his head. 

"Should I leave you alone?" He asks, turning to look at Kurt and frowning. Sebastian doesn't know what to do, if Kurt prefers him by his side or if he wants to return to the solitude that he had before he had arrived, and he's worried that he's overstaying his welcome and now just interfering with a private moment. Now he knows that Kurt's okay, and that his thoughts about what was going had been correct, Sebastian can't help but feel like he should go. "I should leave shouldn't I? You'll want to carry on talking about whatever it was you were saying before, but not with me here, and --"

"Sebastian," Kurt finally cuts in, his hands reaching and clasping tightly onto Sebastian's free one. Kurt watches as Sebastian stops talking, how he glances down at where their hands are now joined together. "Stay. Please. I want you here."

It's enough to remind Sebastian of the silent communication they shared a moment ago, before he had shifted. It's a certainty that he isn't intruding, and the way that Kurt had spoken proves his honestly. That, met with the expression Kurt's watching him with -- the eyes that say so much more than words ever can -- is what settles Sebastian's worries enough that the tension that had been building up in his shoulders before relaxes, his smile returning once again.

"Okay," he replies softly, the word falling back into the calm silence that grew between them once more. Sebastian and Kurt watch each others expressions for a moment longer, before finally turning back to the tombstone of Kurt's mother once again.  

“Do you think I need an introduction to her? I mean, this is the first time I've ever really visited her after all,” Sebastian asks, breaking the peaceful quiet that was between them once again. He's aiming for neutrality in his words, more for Kurt's benefit than his own, yet there’s still an edge for nervousness around them that Kurt easily manages to pick up upon. The smile that he had been fighting to grow with Sebastian's words beforehand  _does_  grow ever so slightly when he understands what it is that the other is trying to do, what his words are actually saying.

He breaks the hold his hand has on Sebastian's then when he instead reaches for the others arm, pulling on it slightly as he moved to sit back down onto the ground and silently bringing Sebastian down along with him. The both of them kneel on the patch of grass that covered the grave, neither one of them caring about the grass marks that would probably be left upon their clothes when the move to stand again later. Kurt’s grip on the others arm remains firm but not quite tight, and Sebastian understands that the firmness is there because Kurt’s using him as a support for himself in that moment.

Six years, yet visiting his mother never really does get easier for him. Sebastian makes it a little easier though, makes Kurt feel a little less lost. 

“Mom,” Kurt begins turning back to speak to the tombstone once again whilst he continues to grip onto Sebastian’s arm. He's spoken to his mother about Sebastian before, but this is the first time they somewhat meet. And Kurt realises then that at the back of his mind, he's always wanted to introduce the two of them to one another. 

“This is Sebastian. Sebastian is; well. He’s my boyfriend.”

* * *

“Do you think she would have liked me?”

It’s a little later in the day, and after staying at the cemetery for a long while both leaving, Kurt knowing his father would visit for a quiet moment himself soon, both Kurt and Sebastian had decided to take their cars and drive to the Lima Bean for some coffee. By now they were inside the packed little coffee shop, having collected the drinks they had ordered and picking up the other little things that they needed before finding somewhere to sit.

Sebastian’s question had caught Kurt somewhat off guard, and he had to stop for a second just to blink. He reaches forward for a few packets of sugar, raising the heels of his feet just slightly to reach across the counter where someone else was standing in the way before relaxing back onto them normally, noticing that Sebastian had taken to busying himself with the stirrers for their drinks as he waited for a response. 

“Of course she would have,” Kurt eventually says, turning to pick up a small pile of napkins once the person from before had moved away.

“Really?” Sebastian asks again, turning to look at where Kurt was standing with a slightly raised eyebrow.

Deciding that the both of them had finished collecting what it was that they both needed Kurt and Sebastian make their way through the small coffee shop to their regular table – which thankfully, was luckily free – with Sebastian continuing to talk as they moved to sit down. “Even with well, …  _everything_ there is about me? I'm not really like most boys a child's parent would ideally want them to date after all.”

As he sits down Kurt realises why Sebastian’s acting so nervous still with his words, remembering back to the time when his father had first discovered Sebastian’s ability to transform into a wolf. Admittedly, it hadn’t been the greatest introduction that they could have had, but although it had at first come across as a rather large shock to him, even Burt had grown to relax and accept the added gift that Sebastian came with over time. Kurt expected that had his mother been alive to meet Sebastian in the flesh however she would have probably been easier to win over, knowing that she had been somewhat more open to the strange and unusual than his father was at first.

“My mother would have  _loved_  you, Bas,” Kurt replies, turning his attention to face the boy that was then sitting across from him, making sure Sebastian understood by the serious expression that was upon his face that his words were nothing but truthful. “She would have loved you completely. For your humour, who you are as a person, the whole added animal part of the deal –“ Sebastian can’t help but let out a little huff of laughter at that, and Kurt smiles slightly at the little laugh it brings out of him also before he continues. “ – She would have accepted and embraced it all. And do you know why?”

“Is this the part where you tell me that for all her life, just like you she’s always secretly wanted a pet dog but constantly been told no?” Sebastian jokes, trying to add some humour to the conversation between them. Kurt laughs again at the statement, ducking his head slightly and shaking it slowly. 

“ _No_ ,” He says, drawing the word out a little bit. Kurt reaches forward with one hand then, laying it open palm upwards upon the tabletop for Sebastian to reach and hold once again. Tentatively he does, and once Sebastian’s hand is holding his Kurt squeezes reassuringly, moving his gaze from the table to look across at Sebastian once again. “She would have accepted you because she would have seen the most important thing of what my Dad eventually saw, and that’s how happy you manage to make me feel when we're around each other.” 

From across the table Sebastian fights the grin that wants to break out across his face, turning his attention down to where his coffee is sat on the table as an attempt at a distraction. He takes a moment to let the words really settle into the depths of his mind, letting them settle there before glancing up at Kurt once more and swallowing, his adams apple bobbing visibly in his throat.

“Your Dad didn’t really have a choice in the end,” Sebastian says, that grin that he's trying hard to hold back cracking through his barrier as he speaks. “Once he realised that me and him liked the same sports and supported the same team that is. That and I guess the fact he said that apparently I’m _always_ at your house had something to do with him finally warming up to me.”

Kurt can’t help but smile at Sebastian’s words, knowing that when his father had finally realised how harmless Sebastian really was he had more or less welcomed him with open arms into their household. He knows that Sebastian knows that too, and Kurt knows that despite being shunned by other people in the world at times for being who he was, Kurt’s family would always be there for him and they would accept Sebastian. He knows that even if his mother had been alive to meet Sebastian herself, she would never have judged him for his abilities of what he could change into sometimes. She would have instead decided to see what Kurt saw in him, and she would have accepted Sebastian based solely on the grounds that he made her son smile and laugh in a way that no one else can, and that he provided Kurt with the happiness that any parent wants their child to find with that one special person one day.

He gives Sebastian’s hand another squeeze, reaching for his drink and taking a long sip of it before letting it sit back on the table once again. Kurt licks his lips, making sure to catch the taste of the remaining traces of coffee from off of them, before letting his expression fall back into one of calmness. 

“Having you there today, at the cemetery … it meant a lot,” Kurt began.

His words cause Sebastian’s attention to grow, and Kurt could tell that his eyebrows had raised with the curiosity he was feeling. Kurt shakes his head once more, looking down at the tabletop for a moment as he continues. “I don’t usually like people coming with me when I visit her. I've always felt like it was a personal thing I guess. That it was a moment where I could just ... talk to her alone you know?" He pauses, watching Sebastian's expression before choosing to carry on. "And I never wanted the sympathy from other people. Because it's too much, and I don't need it. But, when I realised that you were there with me … things felt somewhat easier to deal with somehow.”

His gaze, where it had cast downwards to the tabletop once more as he had been speaking turns back to Sebastian again, and another small smile begins to pull at the corners of his lips. “I’m glad you were there. And I’m really thankful that I got to introduce you to her finally. I’d – been wanting to do that for a while actually, but I could never really find the right time to ask if it was something you wanted or felt okay about.” 

A long pause breaks between them, and both Kurt and Sebastian take the moment just to look at each other for a short time, the only sounds being that of the busy atmosphere of the small coffee shop around them. After a while, Kurt felt as Sebastian squeezes back on where their hands were still joined upon the top of the table, and Sebastian’s own smile grows warm and bright, stretching out across his lips from where he's watching Kurt across the table, before he finally replies.

“I’m really glad that I finally got to meet her. And that you let me be there for you.”


End file.
